Here I go again down that road! Talking about my only-self cause that’s all I Know! But seriously folks over the years many of us go through many experiences. Some are traumatic, not our own fault. Others self-inflicted, because we are young and foolish, or old and still do not know. Then there are just life changes of moving houses and relationships ending. We may pick up a religion and question life, and many years later drop it, and start another one or no religion at all.
It would be utter madness that while going through all this we didn’t feel the need to talk to someone. Of course you have your friends and your family but not all friends and family are great listeners, and this is where a great counsellor comes in. A good counsellor has the great insight to say nothing when needed, and the right time say something that will make you see something in a way you didn’t see it before. Counsellors and counselling come from a wide stable of teachings and over the years I have enjoyed two or three different kinds of counselling depending on the crisis.
Humanistic Counselling is person-centred and they tend to say that all the answers are in you. Of course you know that already, right, but sometimes when two or three things go wrong in your life, you might loose that centre and need someone to get you back on track. Death, divorce, career changes, even questioning the meaning of life, can all be done from the quiet space of a counsellors chair. It’s like chewing-the-fat with your best friend, only the questioning maybe be a bit more insightful, and you are there for a specific reason. One of my craziest moments was with a person centred counsellor when at a time I was questioning life, again.
I had would myself into this idea that I would continue beyond death, which is fine, and potentially true, but it had become a ruse for death avoidance, and hence life avoidance. Despite my various ideas about life after death the counsellor asked me, ‘What about if you just die?’ I ignored her and talked about karma and reincarnation, and again she said, ‘What happens if you just die?’ and I said, ‘What do you mean?’ ‘Well, what if you just live and die?’ And I looked to the floor unsure what to do and she said, ‘Just try and imagine it.’
I closed my eyes and just imagined myself dying and there being nothing, just the cold hard blackness of death. And then I let out a big laugh, and some more laughter, and even more, quite hard, and then went back to talking. The walk home after that chat was a beautiful walk and the world around me appeared as if it had snapped back into focus in a way I had never seen before. My counsellor was able to spot the underlying anxiety beneath the supposed questioning, pierced through it, and brought me back into the world.