I have slowly come to the realization that I might be an atheist. In the past I have called myself Buddhist or agnostic. I always had faith in something. Even if there was no creator god I would say the Buddhist nature of emptiness was my God. Or I would create my own faith and call it spirit.

We all die. See the bright light, review our life. Then come the entities or the relatives. Then if I have helped other people its of to heaven or heal if I have caused suffering. If I was just average then maybe reincarnate.

But the Tibetans just suggest that it is all a projection of our own minds. The bright light is the naked essence of universal mind. Naturally now that there is no barrier between the conscious and the unconscious your past memories coming rushing to meet you. You imagine your parents or people you knew. You live in another dream then are reborn again or so the Buddhists say.

I mean I used to have faith and believe but none of it really makes sense anymore. If the creator God is so powerful why does it not intervene on anything. There are so many wars, thousands dying, paedophile priests committing acts of horrors. Where is Gods wrath?

Even with Buddhism you spend your life praying and saying mantras in the hope that you get good things in this life but nothing happens. There is no ability to compare and contrast between this life and the next, so how do you know what you did right and what you did wrong.

I’m not saying don’t be evil but there are no benefits from religion in this world. Other than religion gives us false hope. The idea that something is always round the corner. I like the fridge magnet I once saw that said, ‘Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.’

Religion in that sense is just another tool of control. Or somewhere to go when life becomes unbearable. Someone dies. You struggle through life. Maybe even that might be enough but there will be no rewards until after death.

I’ve tried hard to cling onto faith and belief only because I feared death. That is death and nothing else. Life is meaningless. We are here for no reason other than survival. Our species only appear important in relation to other animals. But really we are no different.

We have sex. Procreate. Exist in families or tribes. We fight personally and even in war. We create miraculous things like space ships but also make nuclear weapons willing to destroy our selves.

And all the while no signs from God. Nothing. Maybe a miracle or vision once every 100 years. And yet we keep praying or meditating. God give me this. God help me with that. Children in war zones. Kids dying of cancer. God does nothing. And we still donate. Because we cant bare the harsh realities of human existence. We are alone. Nothing to see for trillions of miles. Self-preservation the only mindset.